Old Writings

On Turning 30....

I’m well into the first month of being 30 and all in all I feel pretty great. There are a couple of things I decided I wouldn’t do upon turning thirty. The first one is that I’m not going to be the girl sitting at the bar on her 30th birthday, crying after her third shot because she has no immediate male prospects in her life and therefore no chance in the near future that she will be married with kids. Matrimony and giving birth: two qualities many people use to measure the success of a 30 year old woman. So I vowed not to be that girl, and I kept that promise to myself. I spent my 30th birthday celebrating with my family and friends at a local Chicago bar. There was a lot of drinking and laughing. No tears and no feeling sorry for myself! In fact it was quite the opposite. On the night of my 30th birthday, the Sunday night after the party I was celebrating with my twin sister and the girls at Cullens. Cullens was a great Sunday night bar with a very talented cute musician playing there that night. That’s where I made the the “Turning 30” speech. Turning 30 isn’t about what I haven’t done yet, it’s about what I get to do now! My 20’s were about moving to a big city, renting crappy apartments, gaining teaching experience and career confidence, dating, dating, dating, seeing incredible concerts, creating memories with old friends and meeting new friends. It was about finding a part of me that I wouldn’t have found had I married young. If I’m being honest it was about reading lots of self help literature inspiring me to not only be okay with being single but embracing it, yet at times feeling so lonely it hurt and longing for a partner and man who loved me. So when I think about my twenties I think about the friendships, the boys, the music, teaching, learning guitar, and yes at times the loves I never had, the places I never visited etc.. But then I realize that’s what my 30’s are for. My life by no means has been mapped out and that in of itself is so exciting. So as I look at 30 in terms of what I get to do now, I know I have so much to look forward to; falling in love, traveling to foreign countries, becoming a wife and having a family. And as I look to the next decade of my life I know that I’ll embrace these experiences with a sense of dignity and a spirit of wisdom that can only come with age. Lastly, there will be a fond appreciation as the great things enter my life because I’ll know that none of it came easy. And truly, the best is yet to come!